September 2022

A profound epiphany. My transition from child to adult. 

In late summer of 1987, I quit a secure full-time job as a secretary, and enrolled in full-time college. 

I waitressed  at a place in Chicago called The Black Angus. It was a semi-formal restaurant with tables covered in white cloths.  I was very inexperienced and felt like a fish out of water, but was determined to succeed. Adding to my inexperience was the haughty clinetale. I sensed their disdain towards me and that made me even more nervous. I was never very good at faking it. 

On one particular Sunday afternoon there, while I waited in the hallway where we picked up the plates of food, it struck me for the first time in my life that no one but me was going to take care of me. I was thirty-two years old and until then, had felt supported by friends I lived with or nearby friends. I did clerical work, with a steady salary and benefits, and even though I didn't like it, it was much more comfortable than waitressing. 

I would never have considered waitressing if not for the fact that I needed food and rent money at a job that had flexible hours. Waitress work was perfect for a college student. I could attend classes during the day and waitress three evenings a week  and on Saturdays and Sundays. 

It may seem like this was a strange time and place to receive such a profound realization. I didn't have time to process it, but at the same time, I could not dismiss it. 

Realizing that it was up to me alone to take care of myself,  gave me courage to get through my shift and to continue with my commitment to get through college to become a teacher. 

In a few weeks, I found a new waitress position at a more casual restaurant. The clientale were friendly, kind, and relaxed. I felt supported by them. Some of the customers became my buddies, like the coffee counter fellas. One of them gave me an expensive winter coat that his mother could not use, and another gave me an antique record cabinet that I still have today. 

I think realizing I alone was responsible for myself, helped me make the decision to change restaurants. I didn't wait for someone's advice or permission to leave. I found a better fit for myself and got rewarded for it. 

Perhaps, like me, you too have had an insight that caused a transition for you. I'd love to hear about it in the comment section.